Amsterdam Pt. 2
If you're reading this then my period didn't scare you off nor did my somewhat bleak regaling of my first few experiences in Amsterdam. The last week of my current life has been an anxious/down/and reflective one. So I wasn't in a rush or mood to write about and recount shitty past experiences. Wasn't in the right headspace to convey it how I wanted. However, now that I'm feeling more rested and relaxed and leveled out again I think I can recount more of the trip and leave you with some silver linings.
I took this picture on a walk. A very late night walk. A hot sweaty walk. A pissed off walk. Pissed off that I missed the last tram walk. Pissed off that a dude made me miss the last tram walk. But mostly pissed at myself that I didn't listen to my gut and just stay home that night walk.
So I'd been in the city for like 4 hours, right. This guy DM's me. (Please do not think that this happens on the reg. Not sure why traveling, the DMs light up.) Anywho. Not interested and I don't even remember what the message said but he seemed nice and I was open to meeting new people apparently and next thing I know I find myself making tentative plans. Listen, you are allowed to change your mind. You're allowed to say thanks no thanks. You're allowed to say on second thought I'm really tired. And you're allowed to just not respond. Now. Why I didn't take any of my own advice is beyond me.
Well, he comes through on the plans. Shocked. Figured I could rely on a guy flaking as my out. Comes to pick me up and we get on the tram and head back into the city. I had just gotten back to my hostel and just wanted to chill out.
First of all the dude walks slow. Like hella slowwww. And with this weird pimp walk? Ok, Macklemore can we pick up the pace. (I walk fast. Fast walkers you can relate I'm sure.) Come to find out the sole of his shoe completely broke off on his way over and he didn't have time to go home and change so he was literally dragging his foot. LOL. Now I feel like a dickhead for calling him out on it.
Doesn't really have a plan on where we are going. Just wants to go get weed and smoke it. I sit through him smoking one joint then I'm like listen...er....uh....I'm gonna go. He seems surprised. All I can think is how bad I want to shower and lay in my bed. I look at the time. It's 12:55 and the last tram goes out at 1am.
Had this been different circumstances I'd probably find the best diplomatic way to gently part ways. Tonight I ripped it quick like a bandaid. We went our separate ways and I haul over to the stop and wait. And wait and wait. I knew it wasn't coming. I knew I missed it. But I didn't want to admit that I for once didn't manage my time properly and now would have to walk my ass home at 1am with a dying phone and not really sure where I even was. It was about 3 miles. Yep. A good hour even with my fast pace because guess what. The one...the ONE bridge I need to cross is being "safety-tested." There are some construction worker dudes just standing around talking and I ask them if I can cross.
"We're testing it for safety"
"Looks safe to me."
"You'll have to go around."
*very very annoyed but American. So...polite.
*starts walking around
*looks on map. sees will add over a mile to journey
*turns back around
*walks up to same construction man
"Please can you just let me cross."
"We are testing it."
"Can you not test it for like...10 seconds?"
"Come on. It's so late and I'm tired and I just wanna get home."
*expletives are said to him in elevated tone of voice
Listen. I do not EVER feel the need to be rude to people. Especially when they're just trying to do their job. But it had been a long ass day for me.
I continued walking and walking and walking. Its 2am at this point. It's dark. There is no one around. Everything is closed. I realize I could get mugged and no one would be around to help or hear it. I have all my cameras on me. Cash. Credit card. Phone. Someone could make off like a bandit if they jumped me. But that night after just a boiling kettle of emotions....I thought to myself. "It someone tried to mug me right now. I would f*cking FIGHT THEM." People have asked me if I ever feel unsafe traveling alone and I never have. I also don't suggest actually fighting people. But I had enough adrenaline and pent up aggression in me that night that I was like a mama bear that could flip a min-van.
So bottom line: Just listen to your gut. Stay home if you want. Or whatever the situation may be. And even after all that nightmare of a walk home; it's all good. Nothing truly bad happened. Besides being really really tired and feeling dirty and stressing about washing my tattoo I made it back safe. I also had the task of coming home and having to unzip my bag in the dark while 3 girls were sleeping whilst trying not disturb them. I didn't end up showering to not wake them up and I went to bed a sweaty, exhausted, dirty, angsty mess.
Just for fun. Do you think its better to slowly unzip your bag as quietly as possible with no light on or would you use your phone flashlight and zip that SOB open quick and dirty? I did the former and after 10 minutes feeling around in the dark like a blind person I gave up and just got in bed.
I interrupt this program with a random pic of a really delicious wagyu burger.
Woke up. New dawn. New day. Fresh start. Clean slate. Found a cafe I wanted to try. Looked AMAZING. Coffee + Coconuts.
I wish I could say that I wasn't forgotten about....again...but then I would be lying. I wasn't going to say anything this time. I figured that food service in Holland just must be realllllllly slow. I was going to take after my experience at Dignita. But after 45 minutes had passed and they still hadn't brought out the coffee I ordered and people that were sat after me already had received their drinks I was like here we go again. Can't catch a break, fam.
I don't know if any of you can relate to this but as someone that is not caucasian there is always a small part of me that last-last-last resort entertains the idea that its personal or prejudice in some fashion. Or is it because I'm American? Idk. But I am kind of getting beyond the point of caring on this trip and already have wasted too much energy on stressing over the fact that I must be invisible in this weird city.
So here are some pictures of a really cool café that took 2.5 hours start to finish. *eye roll.
So the thing that I had foreshadowed at the end of my last post...the thing I said I never do. I went on a full blown shopping spree. A nice blend of all the over-used tacky sayings: "YOLO" + "TREAT YO SELF" + "IDAGF" all rolled into one. Was I maybe using shopping as a temporary coping mechanism for a somewhat crappy time I was having? Yes. Eh, oh well. Besides. When a lot of brands you like are not sold or ship to the states? No brainer. You buy it there.
After I spent more money than I should have I just walked around.
If you follow me on IG than you already know how I got told by my waiter at a Thai restaurant three times how depressing and lonely he thought I looked because I was eating alone. I don't mind it. I also go to the movies alone. It is one of my favorite things to do :) I prefer shopping alone as well. What about you guys? Am I weird?
I posted a picture of these roses on my IG story with the caption "People here are kind of dicks." Come back for the third and final post about Amsterdam and I'll tell you who responded to it and what happened.